Miki's Embarrassment
by Lady Nilamarthiel
Summary: *Chapter 2 is up, y'all!* OH, MY! Well, narf. The 2nd chapter is pretty darn funny, but there is some MAJOR OOCness in this chapter, especcially on Juri's part. I GOT RUN OVER BY A PARSLEY TRUCK!!!! & there's alot of farting jokes, too, so be warned!
1. Superblush!

Disclaimer: We do NOT own Shoujo Kakumei Utena, because it belongs to Chiho Saito and Be-Papas. If we did, we'd be rather rich by now, methinks. NARF!  
  
Susan: Erin, what was that about? I dunno, I just felt like it. Susan: Shut up. MAKE ME! Amber and Shayna: On wid da ficcie, y'all!  
  
Utena: (wakes up and mumbles sleepily) Ahhhhhhh..what a beautiful mor- NANI!?!  
  
(finds herself in a room with Touga, Anthy, Miki, Saionji, Juri-all asleep- and a TV screen)  
  
Utena: I hope to God nothing happened last night.  
  
Miki: Ugh. My neck hurts. (looks around) Ohgoodlord.  
  
Utena: I agree.  
  
(others wake up; all have similar reactions-except for Touga, of course, and Anthy)  
  
Touga: Huh. I certainly don't feel like I did anything last night, or remember doing anything for that matter, but, well. (smiles clandestinely)  
  
Juri: Mr. President?  
  
Touga: Aa?  
  
Juri: Get your mind out of the gutter.  
  
Saionji: SHUT UP! Can't we please figure out what the HELL is going on?  
  
Utena Cast: Hai!  
  
Anthy: Utena-sama? What's wrong? You seem upset.  
  
Utena: Himemiya..  
  
Miki: Look! Look at the screen!  
  
(Lady Nilamarthiel, Strawberry-Angel-with-Horns, Shaynaynay the Loon, and Roo appear onscreen)  
  
L.N.: BweheeheeHEEheehee! We finally have you at LAST!  
  
(Utena cast sweatdrops)  
  
R: Ignore her. She's the comic relief.  
  
L.N.: Nani?!? Excuse me, but I wrote this piece of $*!%, so I get 72.98% of the credit!  
  
S.A.w.H.: Good. I don't want it, anyway.  
  
S.t.L.: I do! She's my homegirl!  
  
Miki: Home.girl?  
  
R.: Sister. Don't ask me why, because they're NOT related in ANY way.  
  
Saionji: I'm confused.  
  
S.A.w.H.: That's my line! @$$.(pouts)......MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Juri and Miki sweatdrop simultaneously)  
  
S.t.L.: I never met Strawberry in person before, and I'm as scared as you guys are.  
  
L.N.: "Let me not to the marriage Of the true minds admit impediments. Love is not love, which alters When it alteration finds Or bends with the remover to remove. Oh, no! It is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests, and is never shaken."  
  
(All stare at Lady Nilamarthiel)  
  
L.N.: Shakespeare, sonnet 116. (grins and winks at Miki; Miki looks flabbergasted)  
  
R: Beyond bonkerdom. Strange, Deranged, and Demented. Anywhoozles, we want YOU guys to read one of Nilamarthiel's stories. Please comment. NO flames. Only constructive criticism.  
  
S.t.L.: In other words, insult as much as you can without us forcing to kill you guys. Not Miki, of course, 'cuz Nilamarthiel would have a hissy fit and brutally murder us with fountain pens.  
  
S.A.w.H.: And nail files!  
  
L.N.: Damn right, you are.  
  
(Miki gets VERY red in the face)  
  
R: You know, you look like a dancing blood clot, but you wouldn't think that unless you have a cruel and unusual mind.  
  
(Juri gets really mad)  
  
R: And YOU look like a dancing pumpkin, but you wouldn't think that unless you have a cruel and unusual mind.  
  
(everyone screams, and Anthy faints)  
  
Utena: Oh my God, you killed the Anthy!  
  
Touga: You bastards!  
  
S.t.L.: Okay, that was just so stupid and hilarious it wasn't funny.  
  
L.N.: Miki!  
  
Miki: (still red) Aa? Nani?  
  
L.N.: You're hot!  
  
(Miki gets redder, if humanly possible)  
  
Miki: Eh.gomen.you have the wrong person. You mean Touga or Saionji. Gomen nasai, Nilamarthiel-san.  
  
(Touga and Saionji pose seductively-NOT WITH EACH OTHER, YOU FRIGGIN' MORONS!)  
  
L.N.:NO! I want YOU!!! NOW!  
  
(Touga and Saionji sigh and shlump away, sulking----over to the couch! O- O;;)  
  
R: Oh, my. That was odd. And wrong.  
  
Utena: I'm not gonna even touch that.  
  
(Anthy comes to)  
  
Anthy: Utena-sama.  
  
Utena: It's okay, Himemiya. No one's gonna hurt you.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Not much physically. Mentally.Hell ya!  
  
Anthy: Oh, my.  
  
Juri: Life is gonna be hell from this point on.  
  
Saionji: (from the couch, face sweaty, somewhat green) Oh, $*!%, there goes our sanity.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Ya know, with your hair and face green, you kinda look like a dancing Christmas tree, but you wouldn't think that unless you had a cruel and unusual mind.  
  
S.t.L.: Shaddap. What is this, Bloody Christmas on Ice? Even though I never met you before, I can tell you were born in a mental ward.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Actually, that's Nilamarthiel. She said so herself, right?  
  
L.N.: Aye, Cap'm! I LOVE YA, MIKI!  
  
Miki: If Kozue ever finds out about this.  
  
L.N.: Like I care. She doesn't have to know, darlin'!  
  
(Miki, still red, smiles sheepishly; Touga looks up from the couch, sweaty)  
  
Touga: Miki, you're getting friendly! How.uncharacteristic of you.. (leers seductively)  
  
(Miki's eyes widen as Touga gets up and crosses over to him, clad only in silk red boxers)  
  
Miki: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Leave me alone! (runs, but not fast enough)  
  
Touga: It's okay, Miki. I won't hurt you..(throaty laughter, fade to black)  
  
L.N.: MIKI!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~LaTeR~  
  
(Miki and Touga finally get up from the couch; Saionji is looking on jealously from the corner; Juri is eating popcorn)  
  
Miki: (in blue silk boxers) Oh, gosh.(skin kinda glows)  
  
Touga: I told you it would be good.  
  
S.A.w.H.: THAT was wrong.  
  
Juri: It was entertaining, actually.  
  
L.N.: (sob!) Poor Miki.!  
  
S.t.L.: But all he did was read Miki a book!  
  
S.A.w.H.: The book was entitled "Night Sweats", Shaynaynay.  
  
R: So? That doesn't mean any-OH! Yeah, ummm..yes, well....(nosebleeds)  
  
S.A.w.H.: Told ya so.  
  
Anthy: I do believe I am traumatized for life.  
  
Miki: (now fully dressed, face REALLY red) Gomen Nasai, Nilamarthiel-san. I-  
  
L.N.: 's okay. (sob!) I feel SO bad for you.  
  
Utena: (takes out earplugs and takes off eye mask) Is it over?  
  
Saionji: Thankfully, yes.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Touga, with your face flushed, red hair, and boxers, you look like a dancing bow, but you wouldn't think that unless you had a cruel and unusual mind.  
  
Everyone else: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Touga glares at Strawberry)  
  
S.A.w.H.: MAKE ME!!!!!  
  
S.t.L.: Don't make me wear tight leather pants!  
  
S.A.w.H.: ..shutting up.....I'm scared..leather pants..BAD mental images..GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(faints, wakes up, screams, and faints again)  
  
R: Scared  
  
Touga: You should be. (now fully dressed)  
  
All: (sweatdrop) Oh, Lord.  
  
Touga: I'm so proud of myself that I can get everyone all hot and bothered.  
  
R: I get as hot and bothered over you as I do my goldfish.  
  
Touga: Touché  
  
L.N.: Which reminds me of Roo's party.  
  
S.A.w.H.: (comes to) LARRY!!!!!!!  
  
R: Oh, YAY!! Larry is my hot 14-year-old neighbor who runs around naked at night and tries to look in my windows when I try to sleep and he and his family--including his 8-year-old sister--get stoned in the back woods!!  
  
Juri: O_O;; Oh, my.  
  
Saionji: Talks a mile a second without taking a breath. Typical woman.  
  
**********FLASH**********  
  
Juri: NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!!!!  
  
Anthy: EEEEK! ( faints)  
  
(Utena and Miki shut their eyes, Saionji looks bored, and Touga stares)  
  
L.N.: (shirt still up) Just for you, Miki!  
  
Miki: Thank.you.Nilamarthiel-san. ( eyes still closed)  
  
S.A.w.H.: (babbles) Did you know that a cow has four stomachs? Moooooooooooo...hahahahahaha! And.TOUGA! STOP looking at my TEDDIES! (puts shirt down along with the others) There's something wrong with my mind.  
  
Touga: Sorry, Angel-sama. My eyes were-stuck.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Like I believe you, nunga-nunga fondler-with-his-eyes-dude! Hmmph.  
  
Juri: Don't worry. He does this to everyone. No matter who.even me, which is NOT COOL!  
  
(Touga walks past her and "accidentally" brushes his hand on Juri's.um, yeah)  
  
S.A.w.H.: AAAAH! Nunga-nunga molester!!  
  
Touga: (slyly) Oops. I was just feeling my way h-  
  
R: What, feeling your way to her other nunga-nunga?  
  
L.N.: Ooh.....Catfight! RRRAAWWR!!! (hisses)  
  
Juri: You-PLAYBOY!!! (punches Touga somewhere unpleasant)  
  
Touga: (rolling on the floor and clutching his sore area, with tears streaming down his face) Owwww...#*©&, ^&!%, #@*^ you, !%©*!!!!!!  
  
Juri: Do you want more? (Touga's eyes widen, profusely shaking his head "no") thought not. Then you'd better keep your mouth SHUT.  
  
S.t.L.: That happened to me once. Not being punched in that area of the body, obviously, but being touched on the upper-chest area...Umm....MONKEY!!! I love monkeys I love monkeys I love monkeys!!!!!!!  
  
Anthy: (now concious) Utena-sama, I'm scared.  
  
Utena: So am I, Anthy, So am I.  
End Chapter one.  
  
Susan: That was a piece of stinky cheese. Erin: You helped write it. Oh, and my Grandma proofread this. Amber: I agree with Susan. It's still a piece of stinky cheese. HEHEHEHE!!! Stinky cheese. That's my new word now. BWAHA! Shayna: I thought it was good, up until Erin said that her Grandma proofread this. Then it turned into a piece of crap.  
  
YOU BE THE JUDGE -------AND REVIEW!!!!!!! 


	2. A rootin', Tootin' Time in Tutus

* Disclaimer: We do NOT own Shoujo Kakumei Utena, because it belongs to Chiho Saito and Be-Papas. If we did, we'd be rather rich by now, methinks. NARF! *  
  
Susan: Erin, you said the exact same thing in the last disclaimer.  
  
* So? *  
  
Susan: So shut up!!  
  
* NO!!!!*  
  
Amber: Oh, my......  
  
Shayna: One chapter of lunacy, coming up!  
  
Miki: (searches pockets, not looking very happy) Where's my stopwatch.........?  
  
S.A.w.H.: I'm confused.............. and what's with the stopwatch, anyway?  
  
R: Yeah. You're always goin' Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Hey, that's fun! Clickity! Click! (goes on clicking)  
  
Miki: See?  
  
R: Yeah! It's intriguing!  
  
S.A.w.H.: I wanna click! (clicks nonstop) YAY!!! (goes on clicking)  
  
L.N.: Hold on you guys. That's Miki-sama's trademark.  
  
Miki: (blushed slightly) Um, yeah. I guess it is, isn't it?  
  
Touga: WHY are we having this conversation?  
  
S.t.L.: 'Cuz we can, that's why!  
  
Saionji: I agree with Touga. This is ^*($!#' ridiculous.  
  
L.N.: You'd agree with Touga about everything after a couple hours ago......(winks)  
  
Juri: Please, let's not go there......  
  
Utena: Yeah. That was just SO wrong.  
  
Anthy: That book was not my kind of literature.  
  
S.A.w.H.: I'm bored. Let's bring-----NANAMI!!  
  
Utena cast: NO!  
  
S.A.w.H.: (pouts) Why not?  
  
Touga: She's stupid, clingy, blonde, my sister, and she won't stop saying "Moo".  
  
S.t.L.: I don't really like her either.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Y'all're no fun.  
  
L.N.: I'm a cereal killer. I hate Special K.  
  
Juri: You scare me. And I'm not scared easily.  
  
S.t.L.: She scares everybody, even George Bush.  
  
Anthy: Who?  
  
S.A.w.H.: (with a loud, deep, booming voice) The President of the United States.  
  
Anthy: Oh, ok. (sweatdrops)  
  
R: (Bill Clinton voice) I did not have sexual affairs with Monica Lewinski  
  
Saionji: Oh God.  
  
L.N.: You better not have, Roo.  
  
R: I didn't. Bill did. (Bill C. Voice) I extend my deepest thanks.  
  
S.t.L.: (Butthead voice) Heh heh, you just said "extend".  
  
Utena: Shaddap.  
  
L.N.: Oh, and did we tell you that we have the power to keep you here forever?  
  
Utena: (quickly) Gomen! Um, I'm hungry..........  
  
(chocolate bars, gummy bears, cherry soda bottles, chips, popcorn, rice cakes, and pocky appear on a coffee table)  
  
Utena: Wow. How'd that happen?  
  
R: We're omnipotent!  
  
Touga: Cool. What does that mean?  
  
Miki: All-powerful and all-knowing.  
  
L.N.: Oh, *Miki*! You're SO SMART!  
  
(Miki blushes yet again. Heck, he's been doing this the entire story!)  
  
S.T.L.: We're gonna upload the story soon!  
  
Anthy: Oh, my!  
  
S.t.L.: And you're saying 'oh, my' WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much.  
  
R: It's called "The Freakish Adventures of Strange, Deranged, and Demented".  
  
Juri: This can't be good.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Well, DER!! Nilamarthiel wrote it, so*OF COURSE* it ain't good!!  
  
L.N.: NOT NICE! Beyond bonkerdom.....(rambles on about how unjust the world is)  
  
Saionji: Tell me about it. (rambles on about how the Freaky 4 are unjust)  
  
R: Oh, shiza, the tech is down! It's gonna take a while to boot is up it up. Oh, and we'll be right down with you guys in person!  
  
Miki: Uh-oh.  
  
Utena: I quite agree.  
  
(the Freaky 4 walk through the screen, & Nilamarthiel puts her arm around Miki and sits next to him)  
  
S.t.L.: "We three kings of orient are "Trying to smoke a rubber cigar " It exploded and we eroded and" La la la da da!  
  
S.A.w.H.: Wow. That was scary.  
  
S.t.L.: I learned that is church.  
  
S.A.w.H.: I'm scared!!  
  
Juri: What do they teach in that church?  
  
S.t.L.: I dunno. I don't pay attention. Why should I listen to an old hag who can't even put her tights on correctly? I mean, honestly, they are always inside-out and she doesn't even hike them up! The wrinkles just hang around her ankles like pieces of old elephant skin!  
  
R: True. Quite true.  
  
S.A.w.H.: There's lost of hot guys at my church. That's all I pay attention to....  
  
L.N.: I only have eyes for Miki!  
  
Miki: Um, thank you? (blushes) Oh, and Juri?  
  
Juri: Hai?  
  
Miki: I just realized that, well, our uniforms look like those worn by the French in the 17th century.  
  
Juri: (slightly miffed) And what does that supposed to mean?  
  
Miki: Well, we don't look Japanese, either........  
  
Juri: WE ARE NOT FRENCH!!!!!!!!! WE *ARE* JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Miki: (supersweatdrop) Hehheh, not like there's anything wrong with being French....(nervous) but you're right, Juri-sempai, we're Japanese!!  
  
Juri: (calmed) Aragatou.  
  
Miki: You're welcome. (relieved)  
  
(all go silent for a bit)  
  
L.N.: Oh, my. That was an interesting escapade.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Touga?  
  
Touga: Hai?  
  
S.A.w.H.: MOO!!!!!!  
  
Touga: (glares) That's nice.  
  
R: I have gas. (passes wind three times in a row)  
  
(everyone groans and plugs their noses)  
  
Utena: Wud dat weally nesicawy? (plugged nose)  
  
L.N.: Beyod Bokerdub.....(plugged nose)  
  
Saionji: Dat was wrog.....eeeeew! (plugged nose)  
  
R: (flatulates uncontrollably) I-(fart)-have-(fart)-gas!!!!!!!! (FAAAAAAAAAAART)  
  
Anthy: Uggh. (plugged nose)  
  
(Touga faints from the potent smell)  
  
Miki: I hab a headache. (plugged nose)  
  
(a venting fan and three open windows appear)  
  
Juri: YES! Now we can get outta this hellhole!  
  
(Juri heads for the window, but is thrown back......in a tutu)  
  
Juri: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why am I wearing a dress??????????  
  
Miki: Actually, it's a French ballet tutu.  
  
Juri: DON'T YOU CORRECT ME!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Miki:(sweatdrops) Gomennasai, Juri-sempai!!!!  
  
L.N.:YOU leave MY Miki-sama *ALONE*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Juri: MAKE ME!!!  
  
L.N.: I WILL!!!!!  
  
S.t.L.: Rrrrrrawr! Catfight! (hisses)  
  
R: If y'all don't stop I'm gonna fart again.  
  
Saionji: You heard the freak, so STOP!  
  
S.A.w.H.: I have ADD................MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
(Roo flatulates for one minute straight)  
  
~LaTeR~  
  
(all wake up from their fainting spell)  
  
R: Finally! I've been waiting for thirty minutes! (FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRT)  
  
All but Roo: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!(jump out the window)  
  
R: How the hell did they get out?  
  
S.A.w.H: Sadly, I'm still here....(cowers in a corner)  
  
~FrOm OuTsIdE~  
  
Miki: Nilamarthiel-san? Please get off of my lap.................  
  
S.t.L.: I want ------------ pinecones! Strawberry isn't here so..........  
  
Touga: Ahhhhhhh, fresh air!  
  
Saionji: Let's make a break for it!  
  
(Saionji tries to run away, but hits an invisible barrier & is thrown back in-a tutu......er)  
  
Saionji: $&!% @$$!!!!!  
  
Miki: (now stern) Nilamarthiel, now.  
  
L.N.: (cries, and slides off his lap) Why?  
  
Miki: (softly) Gomen, Nilamarthiel-san. (gives her a hug)  
  
(A loud, booming sound is heard from inside; Strawberry flies out on fire and does "Stop, Drop, and Roll", and is still smoking)  
  
S.A.w.H.: (whimpers) I lit a match.................  
  
Juri: Oh, that was smart.  
  
S.A.w.H.: Don't YOU start with me! I was on fire and had my head farted on and BELIEVE ME, as pissed off as I am, I can take y'all down at the SAME TIME!  
  
Juri: I just think you're full of hot air.  
  
S.A.w.H.: THAT was NOT FUNNY!!!  
  
Touga: Hello to you, too, bee-yach.  
  
Miki: Uh-oh. Touga's going into "homeboy" mode.  
  
Anthy: Oh, my. That can't be good.  
  
Miki: It isn't, trust me. He's been hitting on me backstage ever since episode 5.  
  
Utena: Good God.  
  
Miki: I know. Nasty, isn't it?  
  
Touga: And I would've succeeded in seducing you, too, if it weren't for you meddling freaks!  
  
(Roo comes out smelling like a skunk)  
  
Juri: Oh, Lordie. (plugs nose)  
  
L.N.: I'm scared!  
  
R: You should be. (goes "Carrie")  
  
(Roo tries to pass wind, but nothing comes out, thank the Lord)  
  
R:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
~ThReE hOuRs LaTeR~  
  
R:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(the rest stop snoozing)  
  
Saionji: Are you quite finished?  
  
R: Yeah, I guess so.  
  
L.N.: Then let's go inside. I'm getting sunburn.  
  
(all go inside while all their outfits change into clown tutus)  
  
All: OH, MY!!!!  
End part 2  
  
Erin: Now THAT was funny.  
  
Amber: Well, I dunno.  
  
Susan: That's only 'cuz you fart throughout the end of the story.  
  
Shayna: And I didn't quite like the crack about the lady who runs Sunday School.  
  
Erin: Well, you said that yourself!!  
  
Shayna: Yeah, but....... never mind.  
  
Amber: It's a piece of stinky cheese. MOOHAHA!  
  
Susan: You be the Judge---and REVIEW!!! 


End file.
